Cultural/Language Mishaps in Chile

In Chile, men don´t usually kiss each other, unlike Argentina. When I arrived in Santiago I went to see Sowmya and met her home-stay father, whom I immediately kissed.

I met a girl named Toti, and was attempting to repeat her name, but instead said torti-which means dyke.

I was at dinner (once) with Sowmya´s family and was asking if one of Sowmya´s friends was spoiled, mimada, but instead said mamada, blow job.

Not Boulder.

I think I had an experience. I was walking home at 5:00am after going to some clubs with some Argentine friends when I saw a lady in the distance. Normally, this would be inconsequential and I didn’t think anything of it. When she reached me she nonchalantly asked for a cigarette, I responded I didn’t have one and began to resume walking when she then said she had a question I half stopped, and told her to ask me. Except I didn’t mean with her body. She asked, “Would you like to go to a more private place?” And swiftly grabbed me. I pushed her away and said no like twenty thousand times. Not Boulder.

My first class in the most famous private institution in Buenos Aires, Pontificia Universidad Católica Argentina, an Administration capstone course, was last week. The students are generally middle to upper class and a bit more pompous and/or conservative, completely different than in the public equivalent, the Universidad de Buenos Aires. At the beginning of the lecture the professor was talking about business stakeholders and asked for the class to share the three largest stakeholders in a business, I said the environment and he was like uhhhhhh. Not Boulder.

When I first arrived in Buenos Aires, just over a month ago (w0w) I went to see the famous cemetery in Recoleta.






Unlike any cemetery I have ever seen this was like a town, but of dead people and maintained by felines.




The grandiose nature of some of the mausoleums is breathtaking.


Before I entered with my friend Alex, a man was talking to us about the bad spirits present in a cemetery and recommended not entering or if we were to at least buy his CD with mantras to cleanse our dirtied and sexed souls.


 Not Boulder.

Two weeks ago a group of 87 gringos and I went approximately 90 minutes away from the city to San Antonio de Areco where we enjoyed the Argentine country life. The gauchos, Argentine cowboys, performed four times.


The first performance was a rather phallic game, the gaucho has to gallop to a small loop marked with a red ribbon and use his small stick to remove the red ribbon loop from another device.


The second was like rugby on horses. The gauchos would often drop the ball and then have a tugging contest which was hot.


Third, if you remember playing musical chairs I’m sure you can recall the excitement and inherent danger. Now add horses.


Finally, and the most disturbing was a man’s affection for his horse. Call it love or call it bestiality.


I don’t know how I managed to get so many pictures when I was trying so hard to keep the nervous laughter in.
Not Boulder.

Other lessons

1)      Don’t lick the polls in the Subte

Today I saw a man in a suit and tie, classy right? Except not.  He was about to exit the Subte when I noticed him picking his nose, either oblivious or indifferent to my grotesque expression he continued vigorously.  After extracting whatever was up there he wiped his lips back and forth and then began massaging them for more than a couple seconds.  I couldn’t keep watching, my discomfort was mounting and then overwhelming, I looked away; but I curiously looked back only to watch him place his hand on a poll.

2)      Don’t kiss Catalina

My homestay family has two dogs, Catalina (Cata) and Manuel (Mani).  More or less I take them to the park daily where they run free and Cata attacks poor Mani (who is also a wussy puff).  Both really enjoy eating the trash along the sidewalk but I usually can prevent them.  Once lose I keep one eye on the them to make sure they don’t harass another dog or person.  I however, didn’t see Cata for moment so I called her over.  She ran around a bush to my open arms and prepared to give me kisses when I realized something was awfully wrong.  Her breath smelt like real shit, not just normal gross dog breath.  Sure enough, poop lined both sides of her mouth.

 

Catalina and Manuel

3)      Don’t underestimate the UBA

I am taking one class, a seminar on AIDS,  this semester at the Universidad de Buenos Aires, the largest public institution in Argentina, best of all it’s free for Argentines.  When I first arrived to the building I wasn’t sure I was in the right place, it looked more like an arts and crafts place for underprivileged kids.  But through the urban stains I realized it is actually a neat place.  That is until I knew what was going to happen.  My professor showed up 20mins late, no worries, that’s typical; then we started the lesson and some girl asked to come in.  She tried to recruit us for the socialist movement in the school.  This place was no longer neat but decidedly amazing!  Then my professor explained how condoms can break when they are applied orally and removed a wooden dildo from his backpack with a condom and asked if anyone was interested in demonstrating.  So he apparently wasn’t referring to orally applying the condom.

Lessons, Updates, and Facts

    Petrol costs $16USD/gallon

·         For 28 cents I can travel 32.5 miles in the Subte (Metro)

·         The University of Buenos Aires is free to Argentines and has the most Nobel laureates of all Spanish speaking universities

·         Everyone throws their trash on the curb between 8-9pm and then young boys or families go through everything before the dump trucks arrive around midnight

·         Walking two dogs makes people think I’m a local and thus ask for directions

·         Ketchup, Mustard, Milk, Yogurt, etc. all come in plastic bags.

·         I actually blend in because of the heavy European influences

·         I have to wash my own dishes

·         Nobody has Vibrams but everyone wants to touch them

·         The yellow light flashes after the red to indicate the light will soon change to green

·         Cats protect the dead in the cemetery in Recoleta

·         People don’t often graffiti expletives but instead messages of love or politics

·         I prefer the energy here but the beauty in Boulder

·         I don’t have as many clothes

·         I struggle to remember words in English

·         I want to go to Patagonia

·         Some classes start tomorrow and the rest on Monday

·         I will be taking three direct enrollment courses, one grammar course through the study abroad intuition, and service learning I would like to do with the Madres de Plaza de Mayo (las madres de los desaparecidos)

·         They don’t have peanut butter but instead dulce de leche…it’s a bit sweet for a substitute but it works

·         Dogs poop and pee on the sidewalks regularly